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Hi I have the best solution on all. And I don't even have a wife. Simply bet her a new car of her choice or whatever else she might really like if she can manage to capsize the boat. Once she sees it's virtually impossible she will quit being frightened and merely request the yacht be sailed at a comfortable angle of 15 degrees. Anything more and
Your lugging sail anyway. At least on a Mac powersailor.

Based on your suggestion.....you didn't have to tell us you don't have a wife.

For what NOT to do: Don't let her read the tremendous book "Adrift". That sailor was adrift in his life raft at sea for 76 days.............. Foolishly, I read the book, handed it to her, and told her what a great book it was. Her primary job now, even though we sail in inland lakes is to NEVER lose sight of the nearest land.

For me, I'd do about anything to keep her happy on our boat. Sailing slow, drifting, sitting in the slip, or powering with her aboard beats any combination of her NOT on board.

Also, for us, if she ever takes sail lessons, I will not be in the class--her rules. It's too easy for a stray frown or comment to nix the whole process.

Go slow, enjoy the journey.

Ron

I would spend the day motoring at hull speed and below. Show her that whenever she gets uncomfortable, you can always just "not sail". You can ease into sailing slowly once she's used to the fact that boats rock and that they aren't as precisely controlled as a car.

Worst case scenario is that you motor when she's aboard and you sail single-handed, but as she becomes comfortable with the boat she won't worry so much about the heeling. Let her get comfortable with it at her own pace.

Can she swim? It will also be useful to anchor out and do some swimming off the transom with lifejackets on. She needs to know that in the worst case, she'll still float just fine. That helped a lot with getting our kids okay sailing.

Good luck!

Matt

What is it with a lot of women? My wife is exactly the same, even though I've explained the physics to her a dozen times. Anyway, my answer is to do all the actual sailing on a beam or broad reach, and if possible downwind when there will be no heeling at all, and it's all quiet and calm, then just drop the sails and motor back up wind if that's the way to go, that way it's lots of fun and the dreaded heeling is kept to a minimum, either that or buy a catamaran!

Paul

Just because no one else has said it yet...GET A NEW ADMIRAL!!!

Ixneigh wrote:Hi I have the best solution on all. And I don't even have a wife.

Heh--I read these first to sentences as your solution.

Men are from Mars, Admirals are definately from Venus - Maybe we should all just dream about 'peaches' and let it go at that!

Red sky at night ...

Best advice I can give is easy as she goes and let her control the sheets or helm so as soon as she is uncomfortable she can alter the heel.
With Ray (auto) steering and her on the sheets it makes for a pretty carefree sail, sitting and watching them work stress free all round, the problem starts when the wind gets around the 20 knot mark and then it's usually easier to drop the sails and motor to a haven.

All great advice above.

Give her control over it all and only go out when the weather is foretasted to be nice.

Thankyou all for your advice,

The girly decided not to come out again, I still went with the rest of the crew. In hindsight I was too ambitious taking out a 36'er with myself as the only trained crew, and the rest having less experience than the admiral. If I had been knocked out, there was no way any of them could stop the sails and safely motor home by them selves.

We are going to give it a rest for the winter and, possibly, start slow when the local sailing club opens again in September, with the girly taking some lessons on the 15' corsairs they have

We still have 2 years till we are in a position to purchase our own boat, so there is no rush, well other than my over eager enthusiasm

My wife was more comfortable after our instructor showed her the "fisherman's reef". If any passenger feels the boat is about to go out of the control - yank that main sheet out of its cleat and let it fly. The boat immediately rights itself (and stops).

She only had to do it once to assure herself that she could if she needed to.

kitcat wrote:... I've explained the physics to her a dozen times.

Spoken like a man who understands women.

aye, peaches...
her introduction was an almost knockdown and steering fail, (after the previousl outing had a steering fail) and the third time out we had to smash our way into an F6 for a few hours. The return leg had another complete steering fail, though by now it was touching F9.. at least on the tail.
So, I pack plenty of gin aboard and make sure there is cold tonic in the fridge Should she get a bit soggy and bedraggled I'll blast the heating on and put her into the extra warm cosy berth. It's working so far...

Trouts Dream wrote:Based on your suggestion.....you didn't have to tell us you don't have a wife.

Because if you did you know that she would want the car just for stepping foot on the boat

The first time this happened to me I got a different wife

Rick

PS Really - - - I did

PPS There were a couple of other things she did that bugged me also I must admit