Boating book

[tonymi]

This is either a worthy addition to every sailor's bookshelf or something new from Monty Python.

http://www.amazon.com/Avoid-Huge-Ships- ... cr_pr_pb_i

Be sure to read the customer comments.

[NiceAft]

Just ask the Duck Boat Tour captain in Philadelphia if the book could be important to read.


Ray

[pokerrick1]

That negative customer review was pretty funny!!!!

Rick

[Catigale]

The reviews are a scream...

Prof Horks "large ship avoidance:a practioners guide" indeed.

[dennisneal]

Anyone standing on the poop deck should be able to avoid a huge sh**.

[bscott]

I just ordered the book 'cause I'll never know when I might meet up with a huge ship coming down the switch backs of Pikes Peak

Bob

[Russ]

Dang. Out of stock!

Previous to finding this book I was prone to an understandable fear of being quashed by a ginormous steel vessel. Every day this fear would permeate my being - twisting me into a venomous shell of a man ruled only by paranoia. During intimate moments even my wife would be unable to calm me. I couldn't function anymore. There were huge ships out there, and I couldn't avoid them.

Late one night after a feverish dream in which a cargo liner crushed my hapless stranded rowboat I went to my computer and searched for a solution. Google provided it for me. This book appeared to me like a luminous archangel and offered me an escape from my tattered and bitter mortal fears. I bought it without hesitation and shipped it with next day shipping. That night I waited by the door, clasping my sweaty palms worriedly. Would it come? Was this all some joke perpetrated by infernal beings intent on robbing me of what little sanity I still possessed? The night went on for what seemed an eternity - but dawn did break, and with it came my hardcover saviour.

I tore open its cardboard protective layer like a lion tearing into a fallen antelope. Feasted on its finely printed (and very well written!) text hungrily, without restraint. The letters therein spoke to me, ripe with ancient forbidden knowledge.

Yes, this was what I had hoped for - no what I had needed. I felt stronger. Somehow more than human. Newfound strength coursed within my veins and imbued my flesh with god-like power. My wife, in the kitchen, turned to me and inquired whether I would prefer sausage of bacon with my eggs.

I looked to her, eyes filled with the mad surety only those who have seen the unseeable can know, and smiled. Then, I opened one of my hundred maws - and I sang the song that ended the Earth.

Would recommend to friends!

[Gazmn]

I loved this one:

This review is from: How to Avoid Huge Ships (Paperback)
It is a perfect example of the cruelty of fate- my life was forever changed by a huge ship. It was the winter of 1991, 2 years before Cap'n Trimmer published this masterpiece. If only I had known... the wanton destruction that only a huge ship can do to life and limb and all smaller vessels. My bonnie wife and I had set sail in our beloved scupper, 'Nam Chowder (a pun from my years in the Navy). We were heaving to in the deep and treacherous waters off Cape Hatteras, when lo and behold a ship appeared, as sinister as Poseidon in denim cutoffs.

"O wife!" I called out. "A huge ship approaches!" But right at that moment, the huge ship sounded her horn, and my cries were drowned out in the overwhelming din. My fair wife continued to snack upon Exxtreme Olestra Pringos with reckless abandon- and so focused on these leakage-inducing sweetmeats that she failed to notice the huge ship, barreling towards us at a blinding 6 knots. I screamed like a hyena, bellowed like a bull, but so intense was her snack craving that my warnings were ignored. Finally I rushed towards the bow, to snatch the bushel of crisps from her unsightly maw and force her help in avoiding our certain shiply doom, but my extremities became tangled in the rigging and I could do nothing but struggle as the huge ship continued its advance, closing within a few hundred cubits.

"Lord, hail this ship and allow us safe passage, I beg of you!" I cried, but it was no use. God and his minions have no time for foolish adventurers upon his seas, who disregard the dangers of huge ships. And so it was, that a huge ship smashed our boat into splinters, and my wife was keelhauled for an eternity, her lifeless, bloated body finally floating to the surface in he wake of the huge ship, still clutching her snak pak. My body was torn assunder, and I sustained such horrific injuries that I shudder to recall that terrible day. Know that I peck out this review with my eyelashes, for the huge ship took everything from me save the use of my facial muscles.

Although he will not admit it, Cap'n Trimmer wrote this book in honor of my late wife, Grossinda, for her memory lives on in every book sold, so that the world may know of the dangers lurking in the bowels of every huge ship. Make no mistake, huge ships are out there and their hunger for fresh souls know no bounds. May everyone read this book and commit to memory its passages, and Grossinda's demise will not be in vain.

It is my creed- to find the huge ship that took everything from me. Armed with this book and the grace of God, I will get my revenge. HUGE SHIP- I COME FOR YOU!

"...barreling towards us at a blinding 6 knots..."

[Gypsy]

in All seriousness ,

I highly recommend a book that was on this site a while back ,

Rich Johnson's Guide
to
Trailer Boat Sailing

The book was written about a 26X and is full of good information , as well as good stories about their travels and living aboard , thier Mac for months at a time.

[StUrrock]

in All seriousness ,

I highly recommend a book that was on this site a while back ,

Rich Johnson's Guide
to
Trailer Boat Sailing

The book was written about a 26X and is full of good information , as well as good stories about their travels and living aboard , thier Mac for months at a time.

Totally agree, downloaded it as an iBook an excellent and entertaining read.

[Captain Steve]

I downloaded it too... then while reading it, I thought that this would be a good book to leave on the boat"library" Sometimes paper is better!

[Freedom77]

So much for the "right of Way." Fair Winds and Full Sails...Old Salt

[Gypsy]

So much for the "right of Way." Fair Winds and Full Sails...Old Salt

Please expound upon your cryptic quote !

Curiosity is having its way with me !